I’ve asked myself the same question lately, in one form or the other, constantly:
A few months ago I realized I don’t know the answers anymore. I’m in my mid-twenties, and I know these are a time of discovery. Of seeking. Of learning and growing.
And I feel it, every day, in a thousand different ways. I’m slowly evolving and for a person who has always been pretty self-aware/assured, the realization that right now, in this time, I have no idea anymore exactly who I am.
I know my name. I know my family, the love I feel for them. I know the joy I get whenever I walk in the woods or feed treats to the chickens. I know the peace I feel whenever I watch the sunset or dig in the garden. I know happiness when I walk through the door after a long day at work and my dog wiggles with excitement to see me.
But you know what? I don’t know contentment anymore. And that means it’s time for a change.
I can say that in the last few months, I’ve worked crazy hours that leave little time to myself or the things I love to do. And I know that I’ve become stagnant in a million ways, and that my dis-contentment stems from said stagnant-ness. (Is that a word?)
Regardless, this feeling of crawling in my skin has got to give. And so I’ve steadily been inching towards some new goals and ideas to switch things up a little.
Or a lot, whichever is most effective, yeah?
I know that feeling out-of-place can be common. This is simply another stage to life, and one that will pass. So no, I don’t give myself undue anxiety about it, but I have made the commitment to leading a more productive life–even if that means making some big changes.
So I wanted to post here, an update, because it’s been an age since I have. I can’t promise I’ll post constantly, but I’m shooting for once a week. Even if it’s just to ramble on about my day, or whatever else I feel like sharing at any given time.
I don’t want this blog to feel like just another obligation on a long list of other obligations. I started blogging simply because I love to write. To create, and to share. And I want to get back to that feeling.
I don’t want to force myself to do it just because I feel like I need to–which I don’t. I want to do it simply because, well, I want to do it.
I hope life is treating everyone well. And Hello to Spring, as it’s Ostara today. Let’s hope this nice weather sticks around so my chickens stop mean mugging me like this every time I go to say hi.